Chop It Up: This Whole Rihanna/Chris Brown Thing

Ever since Chris Brown performed at the Grammy's, people (read: Miranda Lambert) keep bringing up the domestic assault against Rihanna. The talk has reached a fever pitch now that Rihanna and Chris have teamed up for not one, but two remixes, which were dropped on Monday. There is so much talk about Rihanna being a role model, and Chris being a monster, and she should take a stand for all victims of domestic violence and he should banished to Siberia. Come on now people!!!

I'm not one to minimize domestic violence and I am not downplaying what happened between Chris and Rihanna. To me, domestic violence is a complex issue, and it seems like the media is trying to over-simplify it. It's a better story to paint Chris as an evil monster and Rihanna as a sweet innocent victim. But this story also includes another victim; a man-child exposed to domestic violence at a young age. It also includes a young woman who seems eager to get past an ugly chapter of her life, while everyone else is forcing her to relive it over and over again.

My stance on the situation is only two people really know what happened on that night. Everyone else, including myself, is speculating.  If Chris is compliant with his legal obligations, if he never puts his hands on a woman again, and if Rihanna can forgive him for what he did, then I have nothing to say. I would have loved for him to go speak to other young men about his experiences growing up, and how that got him in this situation, and how he is working to break the cycle of abuse. I would love for Rihanna to be a champion for victims of domestic violence. But I also understand that after going through something so traumatic, once you get past it you don't want to constantly relive it.

The popular opinion seems to be that Chris should not be able to perform in his general occupation, and he is not worthy of an award because of his actions 3 years ago. Chris is not the first artist to be charged with domestic assault, and unfortunately he will not be the last. There are plenty of other celebrities, athletes, business men, cops, teachers, sanitation workers and other everyday people who are guilty of doing the same thing and worse. So my question is, why Chris Brown? Why is he singled out as the worst of the worst when, according to the LA Times:

...other artists such as James Brown, Ozzy Osbourne, Creed frontman Scott Stapp and Motley Crue's Tommy Lee have been arrested on domestic abuse charges and the general public seems to have forgotten or at least forgiven.

Why is the public riding Chris Brown so hard? Do you think social media and the blogging culture contribute to the Chris Brown backlash? Did Rihanna make a mistake or a calculated publicity stunt? Lets chop it up in the comments!

This is Dedicated to the One I Love!

To my Love on Valentine's Day:

We were introduced a lifetime ago, and we had a wonderful summer together. You were in school out of state, and I was being young and carefree, so a summer is all we had. But as chance would have it, our paths would cross again. We were older, more experienced and wiser. And we both thought about the possibilities of giving it another go.

But there was the issue of time and space. Neither one of us is fond of time and space. But we both felt this undeniable pull, knowing that this was bigger than time and space. So we took a chance. We made a promise. And you came with it.



So here we are, in what I can only describe as my most fulfilling relationship. I prayed for you, hoped for you, wrote about you, thought about you and even used the Secret to get you. And now that you're here, I am still in disbelief because my reality is way better than my hopes and dreams.

Everyday you make me feel loved, secure, protected and lucky. I keep waiting for the feeling to fade, but it only gets stronger. I adore so many things about you, from your relationship with my family to the way you put me at ease during trying times.

Everyone notices the change in me. You brought back a sense of joy and lightness, and it touches every part of me. That is the best gift of all. Thank you for loving me.
 

Happy Birthday Lil Dude!!!

6 years ago today, my life was forever changed by the cutest little bundle of love. You can no longer be considered little, you are most definitely cute, and you are certainly Mommy's heart. Nothing gives me more joy than to hear your laughter and see your see your smile everyday. You are the best Valentine's gift ever, worth every minute of the 25 hours of labor I went through! I love you to infinity and beyond. Enjoy your day love!

Thoughts on Losing an Idol

Like so many others, I am in complete disbelief that Ms. Whitney Houston has suddenly passed away. Growing up, Whitney was EVERYTHING! Her voice was simply the most magnificent gift ever. She possessed such poise and grace. She was never overtly sexual and never had to twerk or pop it to sell a record. Whitney was the rarest of the rare, a true singer that didn't need to dance or put on her show. Her voice was all she needed to completely entertain you.

Yesterday, I was up early, preparing for my son's birthday party and Whitney's entire music catalog was playing through my head. I was thinking of a song for my Valentine's Day blog, mentally running through lyrics of love songs and I was trying to decide between 3 of her songs to post. I finally decided on one and had been singing it to myself all day. As my son's party was winding down, news of Whitney's death broke. We turned on CNN and I took to Twitter to get the latest news. I felt so numb, at an event to celebrate life only to be hit with the news of someone's death.

People are speculating on the cause of death and who was there and who was not there. None of that means anything to me. My heart is breaking thinking of poor Bobbi Kristina, who at 18 is entering adulthood without her mother. Bobbi lives in a world where her parents' every move was scrutinized and dissected, whereas the rest of us can deal with our parent's shortcomings in private. This girl has gone through enough in her 18 short years, and the death of a parent is just... All I'm saying is lets keep Bobbi and family lifted in prayer and supported instead of trying to  make this about Whitney's downfall.

I posted the above clip (via The YBF) because it was rare. A young Whitney singing one of my favorite songs from Dreamgirls. Her voice is strong and clear, and I just get goosebumps listening to her.

I'm gonna start again
I'm gonna leave my past behind
I'll change my life
I'll make a vow and nothings gonna stop me now

RIP Nippy, you were one of a kind.

I Keep Saying I'm Not Going to Watch, But...

Get More: Basketball Wives (Season 4), Evelyn, More Video

Here's the trailer for the new season of Basketball Wives Miami. I'm over Evelyn selling wolf tickets, she only gets buck when there is someone to hold her back. I'm sick of Jen acting like she can't stick up for herself. And I still don't get why these two are fighting in the first place. And frankly all of them are too old to be acting like this.

I will say that I will probably watch because of Tami. I love Tami, she reminds me of my Auntie who don't take shit from anyone. But Royce, Suzie and the rest of them do nothing for me at all. Except Kenya Bell, she looks all the way cray and that will make me watch.

What are your thoughts?

Lessons in Parenting: Karma is a Mother!

Last week, I was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework with my son. My son is a smart kid, and he normally finishes his homework with ease. But that night it was a struggle. He was whining, crying, falling off his chair and just being obstinate! It was driving me crazy, especially because he was working on something I knew he knew. The question was "What number comes before 11?" and he just refused to answer.

I tried many methods to get him to answer; he counted on his fingers, objects, we wrote the numbers down. We even revisited the concept of before and after. But he refused to answer the question. He cried, I raised my voice, got flustered, put him on time out. Nothing was working. Finally I told him I needed a break and sent him to his room while I finished preparing dinner.

When my son sat down to eat, I apologized to him. I told him I was sorry for raising my voice and losing my cool. I explained to him that I knew he knew the right answer and I was frustrated that he was not giving his best effort. I told him in the future Mommy would take a time out when she got frustrated. My son smiled at me and walked over to hug me. He finished his homework with ease and I felt like I was able to turn a negative into a positive. Gold star for mommy!

The next day I was telling this story to a couple of my girlfriends. I was at the part where I was frustrated with my son because I knew he knew the answer and just didn't want to complete the problem. My friend Joanne says:

"Kind of like that book report you refused to do when you were a kid?"

I froze for a second, trying to think of a witty comeback, but there was none. Joanne was right. Mark this day on your calendar, I was both speechless and got called out on my own dirt!

Rewind back to 1980 something. I have a book report due on George Washington Carver. I didn't want to do it and no one was going to make me do it. My teacher had conferences with my mom, I wouldn't do it. I got spanked (it was the 80's, you could do that), still wouldn't do it. It got to the point where my mother had completely gotten fed up with me, and threatened that she would take me to the children's home if I didn't do the report (it was the 80's, you could do that). I got my suitcase and started packing, tears falling. I still wasn't doing that damn report. At that moment my brother calls. My mom tells him what is happening and I get on the phone. He tells me mama isn't taking me anywhere, she tried it with him and amazingly he's still around.

I never did that report, and to this day I can't tell you why. And now my son pulling the same stunt on me, using my own stubbornness against me. Karma is a mother!

I Can't Get This Song Out of My Head

I kept seeing pictures of Lana Del Rey all over the internet and heard people raving about her. When she was scheduled to appear on Saturday Night Live I stayed up to check her out, only to be disappointed. I don't know what I was expecting, but that wasn't it.

So Kid Fury wrote a blog about Lana the other day, and included some of her videos. I watched Born to Die and I fell in love with the song and the visuals! In all honesty when the song starts I thought I might slit my wrists, but as she continued and I got into the imagery, I fell in love with everything. The video is perfect for the song, Lana looks hot, the storyline works, and if you are into it there are all kinds of hidden meanings in the shots. Perfection. This is getting back into making videos an art form. Enjoy!